Dissociation: What it is and Why it Happens
If you've ever felt like you were floating outside your body during a stressful moment, or found yourself with gaps in memory where you can't quite recall what you were doing or feeling, you’ve probably experienced dissociation. You're not alone, and there's nothing wrong with you.
Dissociation is one of the ways our brain and body naturally respond to overwhelming emotions, especially those connected to trauma. Think of it as your mind's ultimate escape route when it senses intense danger—whether that danger is coming from outside circumstances or from painful feelings within yourself.
People describe dissociation in different ways. Some feel like they're watching themselves from outside their body, while others notice blank spots in their memory where they can't remember what they were saying, doing, thinking, or feeling. Because dissociation can happen so automatically, it's often hard to pinpoint exactly what triggered it, which can make it feel confusing and frustrating afterward.
In this post, I'll walk you through some basic ideas about dissociation, address common misconceptions, and explain why your brain creates this response in the first place.
What dissociation IS:
Your brain's survival strategy—and a pretty clever one
An important message from your body that deserves your attention
A natural nervous system response that actually makes sense
Part of what happens when your system goes into "shutdown" mode
Your mind's way of protecting you from unbearable physical, emotional, or psychological pain
A necessary adaptation that helped you survive difficult experiences
When we dissociate, our experience gets fragmented—our body, brain, and emotions don't all stay connected the way they usually do. It's like our inner experience gets scattered into pieces: a sensation here, an image there, or an intense emotion that seems to come out of nowhere. The pieces don't connect in a way that feels coherent or whole.
What dissociation IS NOT:
A sign that you're emotionally fragile
Evidence that you're broken or damaged
Something that only happens to "certain types" of people
Selfish, weak, or something to be ashamed of
Your body betraying you—it's actually trying to help
Proof that you're being "difficult" or "antisocial"
Evidence that you can't handle challenging situations
It's incredibly common for people who experience dissociation to feel shame and isolation about these episodes. Please know that this response makes complete sense, and you're far from alone in having these experiences. In therapy, we spend time understanding and normalizing dissociative responses while building your capacity for self-compassion and nurturing the parts of yourself that need extra care.
Dissociation can be triggered by:
→ Shame spirals that feel overwhelming
→ Experiences of humiliation
→ Intense fear or terror
→ Traumatic memories surfacing
→ Feelings of helplessness or hopelessness
→ Self-criticism, especially the harsh kind that feeds shame
→ Sensing that you're in significant danger
→ Anticipating punishment or consequences
→ Expecting severe emotional or physical pain (this might include fear of abandonment, physical harm, sexual pressure, spiritual judgment, perceived failure, and many other painful experiences)
Remember: if dissociation is part of your experience, your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do—protect you. Understanding this response with compassion, rather than judgment, can be a powerful step toward healing.